Top Ten Tuesday

18 May

Thanks to Amanda and some new friends, I realized I have WAY more than ten things to list about my experiences in the music industry.  So for this week, here’s the next chapter:

Top Ten Times I Asked Myself The Question, “What Am I Doing With My Life?” While Working In Christian Music (Vol. II)

10.  The time I went shopping for food for the bus on a promo tour and one of our VPs gave me his/her “rider” for his/her bus food requirements:  1) Creamy Skippy peanut butter (with his/her own spoon), 2) Bananas without brown spots and 3) Bottled water (Dasani preferred).

 9.  The time I was with a band in Dallas and we got stuck on the wrong side of the Christmas parade in the downtown area.  I could NOT find a way around or through the parade route and the band decided to nickname me Powder.

Powder

 

 8.  The time I showed up to the bus for another promo tour and the bus driver only had one leg.

 7.  The time I hired a road manager for yet another promo tour and he/she disappeared once it was time to load the artist’s gear from the hotel to the bus.  Once my co-worker and I schlepped the artist’s crap to the bus we found the road manager – on the bus – relaxing and having a nice cool beverage while watching a movie.

 6.  The time I lived through this.

 5.  The time I was at my very first sales conference and walked by the soundboard only to kick the power cords out of the wall, causing the video and audio presentations to come to a screeching halt.  100 people in the conference room sitting in silence, wondering what happened, when the sound tech yelled, “Just a moment ladies and gentlemen.  SOMEBODY kicked the power cord out of the wall.”  I was the only one standing up in the entire room, let alone near the soundboard.

 4.  The time I fell down the stairs at my very first Gospel Music Week.  Brick stairs.  And when I say I fell, I mean I fell to my knees at the top of the stairs and proceeded to slide down the brick stairs.  On my shins.  With the artist I was escorting for the day right behind me.  Yes, the skin on my shins has grown back quite nicely.  Thanks for asking.

 3.  The time I searched all over God’s Green Earth (otherwise known as Manhattan’s Midtown) for a McDonalds for an artist’s breakfast because they were on the Atkins Diet and wanted the egg & sausage breakfast.  Once I returned with said fat and lard I was chastised for not having McDonalds remove the biscuits prior to me delivering the meals.

 2.  The time the FBI called my office investigating the moving truck I rented to carry stuff to a trade convention.  It was parked in the lot between my building and the next building over.  The next building over just happened to be a secret FBI office and they were afraid the moving truck may have had explosives in it.  Not Christian music.  Explosives.

 1.  The time I was peed on while working an instore.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Peed.  On.  And not by a child.  It’s a long story.

P.S.  I actually drank blue Gatorade last Saturday at my kids’ ball games.  It tastes like berry-flavored metal.  Ick.

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5 Responses to “Top Ten Tuesday”

  1. Claudia Martinez May 18, 2010 at 7:55 am #

    Now this is h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s… thank you Michael!

  2. oh amanda May 18, 2010 at 11:19 am #

    You are hilarious. Maybe you should write a book: 100 Reasons I’m Not In Christian Music Anymore…

  3. Heather @ Not a DIY Life May 19, 2010 at 6:35 pm #

    Oh my word, this was hilarious!!! I’ve worked a bit around Christian music artists so I can totally understand! I had a run-in with Rebecca St. James’s dad back in the 90s. He was NOT a nice person to deal with!

    Thanks for sharing – I loved this!

  4. kate Andre October 15, 2011 at 8:35 am #

    Was on the bus with the one legged driver? Because Beth and I definitely once had a one legged driver and when we got up the nerve to ask him about it, he told us how he’d been high riding a motorcycle, got into an accident and was thrown so high, his leg was sliced off by telephone wire.

    Which, of course, made us feel much better about having a driver with only one leg.

    • beonkey January 15, 2012 at 7:07 pm #

      yeppers

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